Post-Betrayal: Are You Remodeling or Rebuilding?

In my interview with Debi Silber (Recovery Room podcast #401), founder of the Post Betrayal Institute, Debi talked about different ways women move beyond betrayal. She made a distinction between those who experience resilience and those who experience transformation.

To illustrate her point, she gave this example:

Let's say a house needs a new boiler, paint job, and roof. You buy a new boiler, repaint it, and get a new roof. That's resilience. 

But transformation is like this... 

If a tornado comes by and levels your house, a new boiler, paint job, or roof isn't going to fix it. It needs to be rebuilt. That's transformation.

Betrayal is like the leveling of your house. You have every right to stare at the lot where the house once stood and say, "This is the most terrible, awful, tragic thing that's ever happened to me." And you'd be right.

You can call all your friends over and say, "Look at this! This is terrible, awful, tragic!" And they would all agree.

You don't have to do anything, but should you choose to build your house, you can rebuild anything. Why not build the most beautiful, magnificent house you've ever had?

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Photo Credit: Geoff Sills Flickr via Compfight cc