Affair Healing Blog

3 Steps Toward Reducing Your Affair Conversations

2/7/2018

One complaint I frequently hear from people who had an affair sounds something like this: “My spouse won’t quit talking about it. I’m trying to be patient, but it’s getting to the point that I dread coming home because I know another list of questions will be waiting. They’re not even new questions; we talk about the same thing over and over again.”

I encourage betrayed partners to take control of their affair conversations by following the following three steps.

Triggers for the Unfaithful Partner

5/31/2017

Someone recently asked this question:
"We, the betrayed spouses, experience triggers that make us feel the pain again and again. I wonder about the ones who had the affair. Do they get triggers that make them miss the times with the affair partner?"

People who have been involved in an affair in which emotional connection was experienced will certainly experience "triggers" after the affair is over. This will be especially true if the affair was discovered and disrupted before it ended on its own.

But let's draw a distinction between memories and triggers. There can be many memories of an affair or the affair partner without having any significant emotion attached to them. It's been more than 20 years since my affair, but certain memories about it still pop into my head (especially considering my line of work). But those memories do not carry a sense of longing... missing the other person.

Affair healing Blog

3 Steps Toward Reducing Your Affair Conversations

Triggers for the Unfaithful Partner

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