Review: Emotional First Aid
Reviewed by Tim Tedder
Summary
While this book does not focus specifically on affair recovery, most of the problems addressed are commonly experienced in the affair healing process. In each chapter, the author (a practicing psychologist) discusses an emotional wound using real-life examples and then offers practical, research-based remedies.
Each of these emotional wounds is covered in a chapter of the book: Rejection, Loneliness, Loss & Trauma, Guilt, Rumination, Failure, and Low Self-Esteem.
Review
I was first introduced to the author when listening to a podcast he co-hosted that addressed the struggles experienced by everyday people. Guy’s balance of knowledge with practical application was impressive. He brings that same balance to this book in a way that is accessible to the rest of us.
Anyone struggling through affair recovery issues will relate to some, if not most, of the issues addressed in this book. And you’ll not only learn, you’ll be challenged to apply that knowledge by completing the exercises included in each section.
Highly recommended.
Quotes
“When psychologists asked people to compare the pain of rejection to physical pains they had experienced, they rated their emotional pain as equal in severity to that associated with natural childbirth and cancer treatments!”
“Loss and trauma inflict three psychological wounds, each of which represents a different set of bones that need to be reset. First, loss and trauma can create such havoc in our lives that they threaten our self-perceptions, our roles, and our very sense of identity. Second, tragic events often challenge our fundamental assumptions about the world and our place in it, such that we struggle to make sense of the events or to integrate them into the larger framework of our belief systems. Third, many of us find it difficult to remain connected to the people and activities we used to find meaningful...”
“One of the reasons rumination is so difficult to treat is its self-reinforcing nature. Ruminating about problems tends to make us even more upset about them, and the more upset we are, the stronger the urge to ruminate becomes.”
“People using self-distanced perspectives reported thinking about their painful experiences significantly less often, and they felt less emotional pain when they did ruminate about them than people who used self-immersed perspectives. These findings held true for both depressive and anger ruminations.” [These perspectives are explained in the book, with helpful applications suggested.]
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