Affair healing Blog
Now Available: Early access to our new course, Affair Healing for Betrayed Partners.
The course includes over 80 lessons, exercises, worksheets, and extra resources. This early release of the course includes all the primary content from my book Affair Healing: A Manual for Betrayed Spouses, updated and formatted for the course, along with additional material. Everyone who purchases the course now will have access to all future upgrades (video, audio, new resources) available in the full version by the end of the year.
Topics covered in the course:
Discount only available during the Early Release promotion.
In this episode of the "Dear Therapists" podcast, hosts Guy Winch and Lori Gottlieb focus on helping a man who left his family to be with his affair partner. Troubled by the perspectives his ex-wife and friends seem to have of him, he asks the therapists for help. You'll have to put up with a few commercials, but it's well worth the listen.
After listening to a podcast interview with Guy Winch, the author of Emotional First Aid, I ordered and read his book. While it does not focus specifically on affair recovery, most of the problems addressed in the book are commonly experienced in the affair healing process. In each chapter, the author (a practicing psychologist) discusses an emotional wound using real-life examples and then offers practical research-based remedies.
Each of these emotional wounds is covered in a chapter of the book: Rejection, Loneliness, Loss & Trauma, Guilt, Rumination, Failure, and Low Self-Esteem. Anyone struggling to heal from wounds of infidelity would benefit from the instruction and remedies presented by the author.
With Disney's film release of the musical, Hamilton, I've finally been able to understand the obsession of those who witnessed the theater production. It's an amazing creation that stirred many emotions while I watched and listened to this creative telling of Alexander Hamilton's life and the birth of a nation.
One song, in particular, produced a flow of tears. It's Quiet Uptown follows two tragic events in the story: Hamilton's public humiliation over his confessed affair and the death of his son. These cause an estrangement between Alexander and his wife, Eliza. But they choose to do the unimaginable: find their way back together again.
Following an affair, the recovery of the marriage is not the only option. But partners who decide to heal together will take different steps toward that goal.
The vertical pairing of the steps listed below depicts how partners are connected to each other’s experiences and actions. Discovery should be met with disclosure. One partner’s trauma should lead to the other’s remorse which, in turn, can shorten the traumatic ordeal. Empathy should be offered to pain. Honesty needs to be met with acceptance. Atonement encourages forgiveness, and both partners must take the vulnerable risks necessary to reestablish trust.
If either partner fails to take the necessary steps, the journey stops. If they remain stuck, then complete relationship healing cannot occur.
Having already reviewed the steps of the Involved Partner, let's consider what steps the Injured Partner must take if a couple chooses to heal their marriage...
Unless otherwise noted, articles are written by Tim Tedder, a licensed counselor and creator of this site and its resources.