Affair Healing Blog

My Husband Still Thinks His Affair Was Special

9/14/2018

After reading my earlier post, But My Affair Is Different, I talked to a woman whose husband continued to describe his past affair as a special loving relationship. This conversation occurred during a recent Open Care Q&A session. Listen to the entire conversation using the player below. Here's how the conversation started:

Caller: Your latest article, But My Affair Is Different, resonated with me. That's what my husband has said about his affair. He's recommitted to the marriage and cut off contact with the affair partner, yet he still says, "It was real love. It was something different. Mine was special..." Does that ever go away? Because it hurts me to hear him say that.

But My Affair Is Different

9/3/2018

I've heard this story before: you have a strong emotional connection with your affair partner and believe your affair is uniquely wonderful. Even though your affair is probably among the 96% destined to fail, you remain convinced (like so many before you) that yours is an exceptional experience. But belief doesn’t change the fact that it almost certainly is not.

I know this because I once told that story, too.

Can Pornography Lead To Adultery?

8/7/2018

Question: I think my husband has an addiction to pornography. Is there a relationship between using porn and having an affair?

This article is a summary of our answer to a question posted by a caller in an Open Care Session.

3 Steps Toward Reducing Your Affair Conversations

2/7/2018

One complaint I frequently hear from people who had an affair sounds something like this: “My spouse won’t quit talking about it. I’m trying to be patient, but it’s getting to the point that I dread coming home because I know another list of questions will be waiting. They’re not even new questions; we talk about the same thing over and over again.”

I encourage betrayed partners to take control of their affair conversations by following the following three steps.

The Cost of Affair Repair

1/2/2018

Photo Credit: Deja Photo From Lens To Picture Flickr via Compfight cc

A word to those of you who've had an affair...

I met with a couple who were desperate to determine whether or not their marriage was salvageable. She had recently discovered evidence of repeated sexual communications with other women over the past year and suspected there might be more to the truth. While speaking privately with me, he admitted a history of unfaithfulness in previous relationships and expressed a desire to break this pattern once and for all. In the counseling session, he told her the same thing.

Her response was full of wisdom, expressed in a way that I'd never quite heard before. Here's how their conversation went.

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