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Affair healing Blog

A Course for Betrayed Partners

9/17/2020

 
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Now Available: Early access to our new course, Affair Healing for Betrayed Partners.

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Does the Truth Help or Harm?

2/26/2019

 
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The Dilemma: Getting to the painful truth about an affair is essential for healing, but the truth also becomes a source of endless agony for many who have been betrayed. So what truth helps? Can some truth actually harm? How can we know the difference?
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But My Affair Is Different

9/3/2018

 
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I've heard this story before: you have a strong emotional connection with your affair partner and believe your affair is uniquely wonderful. Even though your affair is probably among the 96% destined to fail, you remain convinced (like so many before you) that yours is an exceptional experience. But belief doesn’t change the fact that it almost certainly is not.

I know this because I once told that story, too. 

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3 Steps Toward Reducing Your Affair Conversations

2/7/2018

 
​One complaint I frequently hear from people who had an affair sounds something like this: “My spouse won’t quit talking about it. I’m trying to be patient, but it’s getting to the point that I dread coming home because I know another list of questions will be waiting. They’re not even new questions; we talk about the same thing over and over again.”

I encourage betrayed partners to take control of their affair conversations by following the following three steps.
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Evidence of a True Affair Confession

9/24/2017

 
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Jacob sits at one end of the counseling couch, downcast, head in his hands, elbows on his knees. His gaze finally lifts from the space between his feet to settle on his wife, Cara, curled up in a tight ball at the other end of the couch. "How am I supposed to believe you?" he asks.

She hesitates, obviously frustrated with her inability to convince her husband. "Whether you believe me or not, I'm telling you the truth."

"You told me that before and I found out you were still lying. This whole affair was about making me believe one thing while you were doing something else. So how how can I believe you're being honest now?"

Cara remains silent. Jacob shakes his head, then turns to me as I sit in witness of their struggle. "Do you think I should trust her?" he asks, somehow hoping my counselor's insight will provide him with assurance one way or the other.

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    Unless otherwise noted, articles are written by Tim Tedder, a licensed counselor and creator of this site and its resources.

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Copyright ©2009-2022, Tim Tedder, LMHC, NCC & contributing authors. Content on this site cannot be used or reproduced without permission. AffairHealing.com is a resource of Currents Services, LLC.
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