Questions & Answers
Affair Questions & Answers
This page links to answers we give to the most commonly asked questions:
- Questions asked by the betrayed spouse/partner
- Questions asked by those who had an affair
- Questions asked by the other man/woman
- Questions asked by family & friends
Disclaimer: Although this site is created and managed by a licensed counselor and other mental health professionals, its content should be read as you would read a “self-help” book. For professional and customized advice, seek help from a counselor who can become more intimately familiar with your specific situation.
Questions Asked by the Betrayed Spouse/Partner
- I suspect my partner is cheating, but they deny it. What should I do?
- My spouse claims they are "just friends" but I think they are having an affair. What should I do?
- Now that I know my spouse cheated on me, should I stay or leave my marriage?
- How am I supposed to compete when the Other Woman (or Other Man) seems so much better than me?
- Affair Fog: My spouse's views and values have shifted dramatically since the affair started, but they claim they always felt this way. What's the truth?
- My partner says they are done with the affair but still want to stay in touch with the affair partner. Should I be okay with that?
- How can I get my partner to break off contact with the lover without demands or ultimatums?
- My spouse admitted to an affair and says it's over, but I don't know if that's the truth. What should I do?
- I want to work on our marriage, but my spouse can't make up his/her mind. What am I supposed to do?
- My spouse refuses to answer my questions about the affair. Don't I have the right to know?
- Why won't my spouse just come clean about the affair details?
- I want to know the truth about the affair. What questions should I ask?
- How long should I keep asking questions about the affair?
- Will I ever be able to trust my spouse again?
- Is it possible to forgive without trusting my spouse?
- Does my spouse have the right to expect my forgiveness?
- My spouse has been involved with someone online. It feels like an affair to me but he/she say's I'm taking things too seriously. Am I over-reacting?
- My spouse says he/she loves me, but is not in love with me. How can I get them to love me again?
- My spouse is staying in the marriage just because it's the right thing to do. Is that good enough?
- Will I be able to get over this affair?
- What do I do with my anger?
- Should I have sex with my spouse?
- Should I make my spouse go to counseling?
- Shouldn't my spouse show more remorse over the affair?
- Is my marriage worth saving?
- What should I tell my children about the affair?
- I'm stuck! I can't stop obsessing about the affair. How do I stop?
- How long will it take our marriage to heal?
- The affair broke our marriage and now I am alone. Is my life ruined?
Questions Asked by Those Who Had an Affair
- Should I tell my spouse about my affair even if they may never find out?
- Is it really an affair if it never became sexual?
- Can it be called an affair if it was just a one night stand?
- My spouse wants to know every detail. How much should I reveal?
- Why should I go back to my marriage if I'm no longer in love with my spouse?
- The feelings for my lover are so intense, how can anyone expect me to get over him/her?
- I'm trying to end the affair, but I keep going back-and-forth between my lover and my spouse. Will I ever be able to make a real commitment one way or the other?
- How long will it take me to get over this?
- I'm done with the affair, but is there anything wrong with staying in contact with the affair partner?
- I want to fix my marriage. Where do I start?
- Will my spouse ever forgive me?
- Will my spouse ever trust me again?
- My spouse wants to know WHY I had an affair. How do I answer that?
- My spouse is still angry with me. Shouldn't he/she be over it by now?
- What should I tell my kids?
- So much damage has been done. Is my life ruined?
Questions Asked by the Other Man/Woman
- He/she says the affair needs to end, but then keeps coming back to me. What should I do?
- I invested a lot in this relationship, but now he/she has gone back to his/her family and I'm left with nothing. I'm still in love. What am I suppose to do?
- I'm not the only one who was at fault in what happened, but it seems like I'm judged more severely. How to deal with what others are thinking/saying about me?
Questions Asked by Family & Friends
- I suspect or know that one of my parents is having an affair. What should I do?
- My parent's affair is in the past, but why does it still affect me?
- I suspect that my friend's spouse is cheating. Should I tell my friend about my suspicions?
- My friend has just found out about their spouse's affair. What can I do to help?