Questions & Answers
Affair Questions & Answers
This page links to answers we give to the most commonly asked questions regarding affairs and infidelity. Questions are also addressed in various episodes of our Recovery Room podcast. Fee free to ask your own question.
Disclaimer: Although this site is created and managed by a licensed counselor and other mental health professionals, its content should be read as you would read a “self-help” book. For professional and customized advice, seek help from a counselor who can become more intimately familiar with your specific situation.
Questions Asked by the Betrayed Spouse/Partner
- I suspect my partner is cheating, but they deny it. What should I do?
- My spouse claims they are "just friends" but I think they are having an affair. What should I do?
- Now that I know my spouse cheated on me, should I stay or leave my marriage?
- How am I supposed to compete when the Other Woman (or Other Man) seems so much better than me?
- Affair Fog: My spouse's views and values have shifted dramatically since the affair started, but they claim they always felt this way. What's the truth?
- My partner says they are done with the affair but still want to stay in touch with the affair partner. Should I be okay with that?
- How can I get my partner to break off contact with the lover without demands or ultimatums?
- My spouse admitted to an affair and says it's over, but I don't know if that's the truth. What should I do?
- I want to work on our marriage, but my spouse can't make up his/her mind. What am I supposed to do?
- My spouse refuses to answer my questions about the affair. Don't I have the right to know?
- Why won't my spouse just come clean about the affair details?
- I want to know the truth about the affair. What questions should I ask?
- How long should I keep asking questions about the affair?
- Will I ever be able to trust my spouse again?
- Is it possible to forgive without trusting my spouse?
- Does my spouse have the right to expect my forgiveness?
- My spouse has been involved with someone online. It feels like an affair to me but he/she say's I'm taking things too seriously. Am I over-reacting?
- My spouse says he/she loves me, but is not in love with me. How can I get them to love me again?
- My spouse is staying in the marriage just because it's the right thing to do. Is that good enough?
- Will I be able to get over this affair?
- What do I do with my anger?
- Should I have sex with my spouse?
- Should I make my spouse go to counseling?
- Shouldn't my spouse show more remorse over the affair?
- Is my marriage worth saving?
- What should I tell my children about the affair?
- I'm stuck! I can't stop obsessing about the affair. How do I stop?
- How long will it take our marriage to heal?
- The affair broke our marriage and now I am alone. Is my life ruined?
Questions Asked by Those Who Had an Affair
- Should I tell my spouse about my affair even if they may never find out?
- Is it really an affair if it never became sexual?
- Can it be called an affair if it was just a one night stand?
- My spouse wants to know every detail. How much should I reveal?
- Why should I go back to my marriage if I'm no longer in love with my spouse?
- The feelings for my lover are so intense, how can anyone expect me to get over him/her?
- I'm trying to end the affair, but I keep going back-and-forth between my lover and my spouse. Will I ever be able to make a real commitment one way or the other?
- How long will it take me to get over this?
- I'm done with the affair, but is there anything wrong with staying in contact with the affair partner?
- I want to fix my marriage. Where do I start?
- Will my spouse ever forgive me?
- Will my spouse ever trust me again?
- My spouse wants to know WHY I had an affair. How do I answer that?
- My spouse is still angry with me. Shouldn't he/she be over it by now?
- What should I tell my kids?
- So much damage has been done. Is my life ruined?
Questions Asked by the Other Man/Woman
- He/she says the affair needs to end, but then keeps coming back to me. What should I do?
- I invested a lot in this relationship, but now he/she has gone back to his/her family and I'm left with nothing. I'm still in love. What am I suppose to do?
- I'm not the only one who was at fault in what happened, but it seems like I'm judged more severely. How to deal with what others are thinking/saying about me?
Questions Asked by Family & Friends
- I suspect or know that one of my parents is having an affair. What should I do?
- My parent's affair is in the past, but why does it still affect me?
- I suspect that my friend's spouse is cheating. Should I tell my friend about my suspicions?
- My friend has just found out about their spouse's affair. What can I do to help?