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Affair healing Blog

What's the flavor of your marriage?

5/24/2019

 
This article was written and posted in our Community Forum by user"Stillme."
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It is always frustrating when people say the equivalent of, "If you won't give it 100%, why stay?" That assumes that some decisions are not rational and that life is simply 100% or 0%. I live in the real world, and the real world is filled with compromise. 

I'll give an example:
​I completely dislike strawberry ice cream.

Vanilla ice cream is okay, just okay.
I like chocolate ice cream.
I absolutely LOVE salted caramel ice cream.

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Building A Stronger Marriage

5/7/2019

 
I talk to clients nearly every day, helping most of them work through choices and changes that affect their marriage or relationship. When I first meet a new couple, I usually don't know their full story. There is a lot to find out, but I typically start by assessing the overall stability of the marriage by finding the answer to three questions:
  1. How secure is the foundation (trust)?
  2. Do the spouses share a common vision for the future of their relationship?
  3. Is each partner effectively contributing to the effort necessary to build a marriage that is stable and mutually satisfying?
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6 Predictors of Successful Affair Recovery & Marriage Renewal

4/26/2019

 
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These six predictors are not guarantees. They are indicators that tend to be present in couples who, on the other side of infidelity, rediscover a satisfying and intimate relationship with each other. How many are present in your marriage?

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Free Resource: Gottman Card Decks

4/8/2019

 
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John Gottman is a leading relationship author and researcher. His Card Decks, previously available for purchase in actual decks of game-like cards, are now available for free from the Apple and Google app stores. Search for "Gottman Card Decks" in your app store.

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Dear Ex-unfaithful Husband

3/12/2019

 
Helen Tower is one of the people I follow on Twitter and am often encouraged by what she writes. Recently, she posted a letter she wrote to her "ex-unfaithful" husband. She gave permission to post it here, too. You can read the entire post on her Sailing Through Infidelity blog. 
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​Dear ex-unfaithful husband,

I want to thank you for sticking with me during the trying times after I discovered your affair. I am so happy this is now in the past. 

We went through periods during which I was willing to hurt myself just to hurt you, in a desperate attempt to soothe my pain. You never lost focus on your commitment to do whatever it took to save our marriage. 

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    Unless otherwise noted, articles are written by Tim Tedder, a licensed counselor and creator of this site and its resources.

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