Affair healing Blog
Divorce: Are the Kids Better Off?
Marriages sometimes end for legitimate or necessary reasons, but one reason often presented for divorce is the idea children should be witness to a happy marriage. The argument goes something like this: If the marriage is no longer a "happy one" then perhaps the kids would be better off if their parents found a more fulfilling relationship.
This new video from the Doherty Relationship Institute provides a perspective on the issue.
After my affair, I could never attend a wedding without being reminded of the promises I once made and eventually broke. The marriages of my own children, however, have always been particularly thoughtful occasions.
My children love me and have forgiven me for the affair that broke their family twenty years ago. Their grace washes away the shame that would otherwise spoil the celebration of their marriages. But the past is always present, and so in their vows I hear echos of my own.
I don't try to hide the story of my infidelity from my children. I hope that maybe they, and their spouses, will learn something from it and avoid making the same mistakes. And so recently, the week before another daughter was about to be married, I wrote the following letter to her fiance, my soon-to-be son-in-law.
One of our Community members, flipperfive, posted this questions:
...I have opted, although slightly apprehensively, on an open door policy that he can visit whenever he likes so the children can see him as much as possible. I say apprehensively as while both I and the children enjoy seeing him I can not help but think there must be consequences from me as a result of his actions and one consequence may be the inability to just 'pop in' whenever it is convenient for him.
Unless otherwise noted, articles are written by Tim Tedder, a licensed counselor and creator of this site and its resources.