A few nights ago, I came across another documentary that relates to affair healing issues. In her self-filmed documentary, A Way to Forgiveness, Erin takes a 550-mile pilgrimage across northern Spain in an attempt to find healing from the hurt of her impending divorce.

Here's what she says in the beginning of the film as she prepares for the trip: "I'm ready to stop crying every day. I'm ready to not collapse as I walk through the house. I just fall to the ground and sob from the pain. I'm ready to give up this hurt. I'm ready to, hopefully, find find a way to forgive the person who I trusted the most and ended up betraying me. I'm ready to pack my bags and just walk. I'm ready."

It is a story of pain, grief, confusion. It is one woman's spiritual journey (Erin's Catholic faith is important to her), although I'd recommend it to anyone who has been betrayed even if they do not share her faith. It is one person's search for healing and forgiveness. Some of the things she experiences and learns along the way will be helpful to anyone who shares her struggle.

The video is currently available on Amazon Prime video (and can be watched for free if you are a Prime member). For information on other viewing options, go to http://awaytoforgiveness.weebly.com/click-to-watch.html. 

​We usually expect our marriage to last a lifetime. What starts with promises of faithfulness and endurance, we believe, will survive any challenge "for better or for worse." Most marriages do; some even thrive. But many die in ways never anticipated.

​When the death of a marriage is a mutual choice between two partners, grieving its loss may be a short-term process. The decision to end their relationship often follows a period of prolonged suffering, making divorce feel like relief. Similar to a funeral, partners make the appropriate arrangements, pay their final respects, bury the marriage, and move on with their lives.

But a marriage killed by betrayal is not so easily mourned. 

In my interview with Debi Silber (Recovery Room podcast #401), founder of the Post Betrayal Institute, Debi talked about different ways women move beyond betrayal. She made a distinction between those who experience resilience and those who experience transformation.

To illustrate her point, she gave this example:

Let's say a house needs a new boiler, paint job, and roof. You buy a new boiler, repaint it, and get a new roof. That's resilience. 

But transformation is like this...