Dear Ex-unfaithful Husband

Helen Tower is one of the people I follow on Twitter and am often encouraged by what she writes. Recently, she posted a letter she wrote to her "ex-unfaithful" husband. She gave permission to post it here, too. You can read the entire post on her Sailing Through Infidelity blog. 

​Dear ex-unfaithful husband,

I want to thank you for sticking with me during the trying times after I discovered your affair. I am so happy this is now in the past. 

We went through periods during which I was willing to hurt myself just to hurt you, in a desperate attempt to soothe my pain. You never lost focus on your commitment to do whatever it took to save our marriage. 

Thank you for not attacking me back when I put you in vulnerable and dangerous positions. Thank you for refusing to go with your AP even when I left you alone so you could run to her. At least it was clear to you after DDay that the whole affair was a mistake, that it was unreal and that it wasn't worth risking your family. 

I appreciate that you acknowledged your responsibility for the way I was feeling that led to breaching the boundaries of safety for our family. It helped me focus on what is most important: my true feelings. 

Before I experienced your infidelity I thought people shouldn't work it out because of their children. Now I know my children are a part of me and we all love you very much. It takes a lot of support to be able to see through the fog of social impositions in the face of betrayal. I was blessed with resources, friends and a supportive husband to start to see the light. 

I love you,
H.