Strategy 6: Release your grip on the past. [page 7 of the Obsessive Focus article]
Sometimes the past won’t let go of us because we refuse to let go of the past. A betrayed partner who stays stuck in the pain may still have more work to do in the area of forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not forget the past. Forgiveness does not condone the past. Forgiveness does not grant instant trust. Rather, forgiveness fully recognizes the pain and injustice that has occurred (and will be felt for a long time) but chooses to let the offense remain in the past. Forgiveness stops dragging the past into the present as a means of shaming, condemning, or manipulating. Forgiveness is often an act that heals the forgiver more than the forgiven.
If your thoughts often lead to anger, you may have to consider what it means to fully forgive. I’ll be covering this issue more specifically in a future article, but you may gain additional more insight into the important process through reading the Forgiving an Affair article series.
