When an Affair Breaks the Marriage
We know there are good affair-recovery endings for many marriages, and there is a path toward healing for couples who want it. However, we also know that there are endings made up of hardship, loneliness, and divorce.
Recently, we featured the poetry of one woman whose heart was broken when her husband left her. Here are a few more stories of struggle following infidelity. They are presented here to offer an honest glimpse into the experiences that many face on the other side of their betrayal.
Story #1
My marriage is over. It is still tricky, but I am and have been building a new life for myself. It has been a crazy, painful, and sometimes very fun journey.
I am on my own after 33 years together and 27 years of marriage. Some things will never make sense to me, but I had to move forward anyway. I am looking forward to a different future, one that I hope will not be alone, but I would rather be alone than what I was going through in my marriage.
This started about 10 years ago when his original affair ended. We reconciled for a bit, but he would never participate in the counseling process, and it became obvious that if he didn't work with me and on himself, we were going to keep doing this painful dance.
Story #2
I was married for almost 28 years. We had known each other for 3 years before that, so it was a long time. I'm recently divorced and am still trying to adjust to this new way of life… For me, the whole "being alone" has been a real struggle. After all those years of being with someone, it's very tough now to be alone. I hope I won't be alone forever, but the thought of ever trusting someone again is something I'm not sure I will ever be able to do.
Story #3
Affairs change people. I went from thinking my world was as perfect as could be, to fighting to save a marriage alone (a “pick me” dance), and now I am barely hanging on. I will tell everyone this: Many people do survive this with their marriage intact. I don't think I will be one of them. I am staying for my children. We are both hanging on because of our children. Neither of us wants to let go, but he can't let her go either.
Story #4
My Husband had been behaving oddly for a few months, and I had even gone as far as to ask if there was something or someone new in his life. I even said if life was unhappy for him, we should part and go our own ways, but he vehemently denied that there was anyone else.
Then D-Day came, and life has been beyond surreal. He has refused full disclosure, as he sees no point. So, I am essentially moving out in a week, which will give us both a better perspective.
It has been 6 months and he does nothing to try to heal my pain. Instead, he talks about his pain and how he is hurting. His denial of what has happened is amazing. He has little remorse.
His AP was an intern who worked in his office. I am saddened and sickened by all of this. I meet with a counselor regularly, and completely understand that this is all him—but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
Want to share your experiences? Submit it here.
