Poetry from a Broken Heart
by Jen Crepeault
Note: I discovered Jen Crepeault’s poetry on social media posts and asked if I could share some of her work here. She graciously gave permission. You can read more of her writing on Instagram and Threads by following @jen_crepeault. From her broken heart come words that may bring strange comfort to others who know the pain. -Tim
“We share the deepest parts of ourselves from behind our pen, hoping to reach one, and we are humbled when we reach many.”
—Jen Crepeault
In the broken, tattered piece that lay scattered across the floor, I found me.
In the anger, through the tears, fighting back hurt and fear, I found me.
In the chaos of the storm, beaten down, tired and worn, I found me.
In the quiet of the calm, stillness reigns, with a quiet whisper, I found me.
With an open heart, and clarity through my eyes, I remembered, authentic and true, I am me.
Your words were simply razor sweet.
Your actions spoke louder than any lie you’ve ever uttered.
Your words lay like glass shattered before my feet.
Your actions created a storm so severe, weathering it is next to impossible.
Tonight I pray for calm. My soul is tired. My heart is no more.
I will pray for no tears, my eyes just as exhausted.
Tonight I will not speak my pain. I will quietly rock it to sleep, in silence, sheltered from your wrath.
You left me to drown. You were my life line, my strength.
You held my head under the pain, suffocating the words I needed you to hear.
You held my heart, and squeezed so intently. Never once feeling the love for you in it.
The rubble we stand on is all that’s left of us. What once was vibrant and unbreakable, a love beyond measure.
Now quiet, lonely, like strangers in the night. Will we prevent it from turning to dust?
I look at pictures of you, ones of the real you. Not the hurtful, toxic, narcissistic man you are now.
The kind man, the man that had so much love to give.
The father who became the man they admired and looked up to.
The son in law, more like a son than any blood born.
The husband, the man I spent two decades unconditionally, loyally and without falter loving.
I mourn that man. I grieve the loss of such an amazing person. I hope the man left in your shell of a soul, someday feels the unbearable pain, from the aftermath of your destruction
If you honestly understood how uncomfortable and painful it is to simply sit in the same room as you. To close my eyes knowing you're still here. Allowing it, I cause some of my own pain.
Biding your time for your future so well planned only for you. You've caused hurt so deep. You've taken all that was unconditionally given you and crushed it with your lies and deception.
I don't hate you. I don't love you the same. I'm not sure what I feel anymore. I've felt pain for so long now, I can't see any good left in you.
I haven't felt my heart in months. Just the rapid beat in moments of fear and anxiety.
My soul is dark and broken. The fire that burned there was smothered, extinguished, stomped out. Learning to heal from unexpected, unwanted, life changing trauma takes strength I've yet to find.
Temporarily Broken,
Me
When there’s nothing left to say,
Yet you say it anyway
When the truth is blinding you,
Yet you shield your eyes
When your palms are bleeding from the tightness of your grasp
Yet you hod on tighter
When your heart is heavy from all the pain
Yet you still love so purely
A new day,
Just to sacrifice your self again once more
