Familiar Strangers

This poem was written by a woman following her husband’s infidelity and the ending of their marriage. Submitted anonymously; used with permission.

Do you remember when we were so good?
Or did you forget, like I did?
You were my first, and you took a piece of me—
We curated our secret in shame

I couldn’t help it
I cared about you
I still think of us, of who we were

I couldn’t see
I refused to
We were young
And I thought it was my fault
But it wasn’t

I couldn’t fight your fight
Regret heavy in my gaze
Looking at you
(Then) turning away
The moment you looked through me
I became see-through

Depression is sadness
That doesn’t know itself
Anxiety, a worry
With no clear cause to trace

They belonged together when we did not

When you said it
I saw it
I heard it
Words I thought you didn’t need
You just needed me
I fell for the illusion

Of hoping I could fix it all

It became heartbreaking
Sitting next to you
As ghosts
And missing you

Where did we go
When we needed each other?
Emotional loneliness
Felt too familiar

Dismantling everything I ever knew
Eventually, it was I who stopped
I wish I could remember
When we were good

Time is all the more real when you’re losing what’s precious

But now it’s just the past
A haunting that lingers
In the spaces you left behind
In every corner of my memory
I still feel you here

Your weakness
told you to leave
My weakness
wanted you to stay
My strength
released you to go

Nothing happened in the way I wanted
Everything I knew
A life meant to enjoy not endure
Meant we had to go

I wasn’t aware that forever had a timestamp

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