Pain Mending for Involved Partners
This course gently guides unfaithful partners through the difficult but essential work of responding to the pain their betrayal has caused. Using the Loss Letter process, you’ll learn how to listen with openness, enter into your partner’s world of loss, and offer words of empathy and remorse that truly matter. Each step helps you move beyond defensiveness toward a genuine response that acknowledges the depth of their hurt. By showing that their pain matters to you, you begin to create space for healing, trust, and the possibility of renewed connection.
This course is designed for the Involved Partner. It includes basic instructions to help your partner cooperate in the process, but more complete help is provided in the companion course: Pain Mending for Injured Partners.
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A Message from Tim
In this video, Tim Tedder explains the steps in this course and encourages you in the process of moving “from hurt to healing.”
In this video, Tim Tedder explains the steps in this course and encourages you in the process of moving “from hurt to healing.”
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Questions and answers about the course Pain Mending for Injured Partners.
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If you are in counseling...
Considerations for integrating this course with your counseling experience.
Considerations for integrating this course with your counseling experience.
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eBook: A Couples Guide
A downloadable copy of the 66-page Couple’s Guide for affair recovery and relationship renewal.
A downloadable copy of the 66-page Couple’s Guide for affair recovery and relationship renewal.
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eBook: Finding the Broken Pieces
A 67-page PDF eBook with articles and real stories of affair healing.
A 67-page PDF eBook with articles and real stories of affair healing.
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Audio message from Tim Tedder.
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Mini-Guide for Your Partner
A mini-guide for partners who are NOT taking the Pain Mending for Injured Partners course.
A mini-guide for partners who are NOT taking the Pain Mending for Injured Partners course.
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Tuning In To Empathy
Maybe empathy is easy for you, but possibly not. Let’s take a look at what it is, why it’s essential in this moment, and how you can cultivate it.
Maybe empathy is easy for you, but possibly not. Let’s take a look at what it is, why it’s essential in this moment, and how you can cultivate it.
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Video: Empathy vs Sympathy
An conversation and illustration about the difference between empathy and sympathy.
An conversation and illustration about the difference between empathy and sympathy.
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Tuning In To Remorse
I can’t create remorse for you, but I can help you uncover what is there but needs to come out.
I can’t create remorse for you, but I can help you uncover what is there but needs to come out.
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If Your Partner Isn't Cooperating
What should you do if your partner isn’t willing to actively participate in this process?
What should you do if your partner isn’t willing to actively participate in this process?
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Audio message from Tim Tedder.
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Loss Letter Prep
Take time to think about your partner’s loss and pain before they give you their Loss Letter.
Take time to think about your partner’s loss and pain before they give you their Loss Letter.
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You’ll pause here until your partner gives you their Loss Letter.
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THE TRUTH MATTERS
Don’t get stuck in the pain.
Healing from infidelity requires more than time—it requires understanding. The Pain Mending courses guide couples through the Loss Letter process, where the Injured Partner gives voice to the pain and losses caused by betrayal, and the Involved Partner learns how to listen, respond with empathy, and offer a meaningful apology.
Together, you’ll move beyond defensiveness and silence into honest communication that fosters connection, remorse, and the possibility of renewal. Whether taken on its own or alongside our other recovery courses, this step offers couples a structured way to face the hurt and begin building something stronger.
