Exercise: Your Life the Movie
An individual exercise to encourage reflection on your life, created by Tim Tedder.
In my recent post about lessons we can learn from the movie Jay Kelly, I pointed out that we often don’t get second-takes in the moments of our lives But sometimes we do. Or, sometimes we can see how things are going and make some changes in what’s next, like rewriting the upcoming scenes in a movie.
This exercise provides a way to reflect back on what your life has been, and consider how you want the rest of it to play out. You can use the instructions printed on this page, or download the PDF version.
Exercise
Imagine making a movie of your life. You are the producer, director, and editor, so the film is entirely in your hands. As you put this together, you will need to take some notes. Use a notebook, journal, computer, or tablet to write out your responses to the questions below.
This is not about being impressive or brutal; it’s about being honest and curious. You are not required to share this with anyone.
Part One: Highlights
What are the best things about you that you’d want others to know?
You probably have some stories you want to tell—positive things about you that you would like others to know. These stories may be about accomplishment, or bravery, or kindness, or whatever else in your past provides a clear example of the BEST of who you are. They may be public or private stories, but they would be the ones you would want to be included in a movie to let people see the things that might be good or admirable.
Some of your most significant life highlights might not come to mind readily. You need to spend some time thinking through your life and writing down every event that seems important. Consider every stage of life (preschool, grade school age, middle school age, high school age, college/career age, etc.) or every place you’ve lived. Try to remember the stories that positively reflect something significant about you.
If accomplishments are hard to name, include moments where you showed persistence, care, creativity, or restraint—even if no one noticed.
List all your “highlights” with a short description (no more than a sentence). For example:
Riding my bike around the neighborhood, handing out free candy to other kids
Rescuing and nurturing a fallen bird
Receiving a standing ovation for my solo in high school
Running into a conflict to save a screaming woman being dragged to a car by two men
Finding a purse full of money and tracking down the owner to turn it in
Playing the lead in a theater production
Forgiving John when he did not expect it
Part Two: Cut Scenes
If you could, what parts of your life would you undo?
We all have regrets. What parts of your life would you edit out or change, if you could? Don’t think in terms of adverse circumstances outside of your control (an alcoholic parent, for example). Instead, consider past choices you wish you could undo or redo. Think about the ones that seem most significant to you. If this section starts to feel overwhelming, pause and return later.
List these “cut scenes” using short descriptions. For example:
Ridiculing a classmate
Stealing from the local convenience store
Bullying Scott in 4th grade
Turning down the Atlanta job
Selfish behaviors in relationships (many)
Lying to Mark
Cheating Lydia out of her fair share
My secret act of vengeance against the company
Part Three: Forces that Shaped the Story
What other people, events, or circumstances have significantly influenced your life story?
In addition to those things you listed in Part One and Part Two, what else has significantly impacted your life (in both positive and negative ways)? The previous sections focused on story elements that had to do with who you are or what you did, but this part has more to do with what you experienced or what was done to you. Again, list these with brief descriptions. For example:
Surviving the tornado at six years old
My father’s drinking
My brother’s death
Inheriting a lot of money from Grandma Jane
Loss of my career job
Reading the book: This One Thing
Meeting Janelle
Part Four: Plot Twists
What changes would you make for your future?
You can’t change anything from your past, but the future is still unwritten. What changes would you like to write into your story? Don’t think in terms of magic or miracles, but what do you think might be possible for you if everything could fit into place just right? List these with brief descriptions. For example:
I go back to school.
I change careers.
I reconcile with my mother.
I start painting again and showing my work to others.
I break my addiction.
Which of these future plot twists requires you to become someone slightly different than you are today?
Part Five: Ending
What ending would you like to have?
How would you like the movie of your life to end? Don’t focus on the manner of your death (old age, illness, accident), but imagine what you want to think about yourself and how you want others to think of you as your story ends. You can be creative here. Using at least two or three paragraphs (you can write more if you want), imagine the final scene, and write your description of it.
