Infidelity in U.S. Marriages: Prevalence and Impact
I will occasionally look at online research to provide an overview of current statistics related to relationships and infidelity. Here are the results of my latest query (July 2025), provided here for anyone who may have an interest. (Note: I used an advanced reasoning search model with a focus on current research.) - Tim T
Prevalence of Infidelity (Emotional vs. Physical Affairs)
Research indicates that infidelity is not uncommon in American marriages, though estimates vary by study and how infidelity is defined. Key findings include:
Extramarital Sex: About 20% of men and 13% of women in the U.S. report having had sexual relations with someone other than their spouse while married. Similarly, broad surveys estimate roughly 20–25% of married couples experience infidelity at some point. (Historically, older studies found even higher rates up to ~40%, but more recent data usually fall in the 20–25% range.)
Emotional vs. Physical Affairs: The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) reports that approximately 25% of husbands and 15% of wives admit to intercourse outside the marriage, but these numbers climb substantially when including emotional infidelity or sexual intimacy short of intercourse. When counting emotional affairs and other sexual intimacies, the prevalence increases by about 20 percentage points, reaching roughly 45% of men and 35% of women who have engaged in some form of infidelity. In other words, many more individuals report emotional affairs (e.g., secret romantic friendships or online relationships) than outright physical cheating. Surveys indeed find that emotional cheating is a widespread issue: nearly half of men and over a third of women acknowledge having been emotionally unfaithful at some point.
Attitudes Toward Infidelity: Despite its frequency, infidelity is widely disapproved of by most couples. In fact, 64% of couples say that an emotional affair can be just as damaging as or even more harmful than a strictly physical affair. (Notably, psychological research finds that men, on average, report greater upset over sexual infidelity, whereas women tend to be more hurt by emotional infidelity.) This underscores that both forms of betrayal – physical and emotional – are taken very seriously in relationships.
Divorce vs. Reconciliation After Infidelity
Infidelity significantly heightens the risk of divorce, but it does not always end a marriage. A majority of couples try to reconcile, and many marriages survive an affair. Reliable U.S. studies provide the following insights on outcomes after infidelity:
Most Couples Stay Together: Multiple studies have found that roughly 60% to 75% of couples stay together after discovering an affair. In other words, well over half of marriages impacted by infidelity do not end in divorce, at least not in the short term. In fact, a 2012 AAMFT survey reported that 74% of couples who underwent therapy in the wake of infidelity were able to recover and rebuild their relationship. Similarly, a prominent couples-therapy study found that about 70% of pairs in therapy successfully reconciled after an affair, often developing a stronger relationship as a result.
Divorce Rates: Although many couples reconcile, a substantial minority do split up. Broad estimates suggest roughly 20–40% of marriages end in divorce following an infidelity. (Outcomes vary by circumstance; some research using clinical samples even found over 50% of couples eventually broke up due to infidelity, whereas community surveys tend to report lower divorce proportions in the 20– thirty-some percent range.) For context, the typical U.S. divorce rate for all marriages is around 40–50%, so infidelity is a major risk factor but not an automatic marriage-ender.
Cheating and Divorce Correlation: National data illustrate the link between infidelity and marital dissolution. An analysis of the General Social Survey shows that about 40% of adults who had ever cheated on their spouse were divorced or separated at the time of the survey, much higher than the 17% divorce/separation rate among those who never cheated. In short, unfaithful individuals are more than twice as likely to be divorced as those who remained faithful. This does not mean infidelity is always the sole cause of divorce, but it often contributes heavily.
Gender Differences: There is some evidence of gender differences in post-affair outcomes. Male infidelity is slightly less likely to result in divorce than female infidelity, possibly because men who cheat more often remain or remarry than women who cheat. One analysis found 61% of men who had cheated were still married (to either their spouse or a new partner) vs. only 44% of women who had cheated, with divorced/separated rates correspondingly higher for female cheaters. This may reflect, in part, societal differences in forgiveness or the tendency for men to repartner more quickly. Regardless of gender, the combination of infidelity and divorce is common enough that infidelity is consistently cited as one of the leading contributors to marital breakups in the U.S..
Long-Term Relationship Satisfaction After an Affair
For couples who remain together after an affair, the long-term trajectory of their relationship can vary widely. Rebuilding trust is challenging, but many couples are able to restore a satisfying relationship, and in some cases even report a stronger bond than before. Key findings on long-term satisfaction include:
Potential for Improvement: Research shows it is possible for a marriage to not only survive infidelity but also heal and even thrive in the long run. In a recent 2023 study of couples who went through infidelity, all participants had achieved “meaningful healing,” and some couples reported relationship growth – a deeper intimacy and strengthened relationship – following the affair. Likewise, marriage therapists have observed that with commitment to therapy, many marriages emerge stronger and more intimate after recovering from infidelity. In one clinical study, about 70% of couples reported greater marital satisfaction post-therapy than they had pre-affair (having used the crisis as a catalyst to improve communication and closeness). These cases illustrate that infidelity can be a turning point that, if adequately addressed, leads to positive changes (e.g. more honesty, better sex, renewed appreciation) in the relationship.
Typical Satisfaction Levels: Not every couple experiences improvement, but many do return to a stable, satisfying norm. In a 2023 survey by Nickerson et al., nearly 46% of unfaithful partners and 36% of betrayed partners believed their relationship ultimately improved after working through the affair. This suggests that over one-third of couples (by the betrayed partner’s account) felt stronger as a couple in the aftermath. Forgiveness is a critical element here – studies find that when the injured spouse is able to forgive the betrayal, it is linked to significantly better relationship quality and stability going forward. Successful rebuilders often develop healthier communication patterns and address underlying issues, which can restore satisfaction to pre-affair levels or better.
Challenges to Long-Term Happiness: Despite the potential for growth, long-term satisfaction after infidelity is not guaranteed and depends on the couple’s recovery process. Even among couples who stay together, some continue to struggle with trust issues, emotional pain, or reduced intimacy for years. For instance, one informal estimate suggests that while many couples initially reconcile, only a subset (perhaps ~15% according to anecdotal accounts) remain fully happy five years down the line, highlighting that relapse or lingering resentment can erode satisfaction if not adequately addressed (note: exact long-term percentages are hard to measure scientifically). What is clear from research is that active effort from both partners is required for a truly satisfying reconciliation. Healing typically unfolds over an extended period, and couples who put in the work through therapy, honest communication, and forgiveness tend to fare much better in regaining happiness than those who sweep issues under the rug. In summary, many couples who remain married after infidelity do achieve a positive new equilibrium, but the degree of long-term happiness varies: some report being closer than ever, while others stay together in a diminished relationship.
Sources Info: Peer-reviewed studies and surveys on U.S. marriages, including data from the General Social Survey, analyses by the Institute for Family Studies, findings reported by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and results from scholarly research on couples therapy outcomes. All statistics are drawn from recent and reputable sources to ensure the information reflects the current understanding of infidelity’s prevalence and impact on marriages in the United States. Online resources referenced include:
aamft.org
drkathynickerson.com
psychologytoday.com
ifstudies.org
