Truth Talk: Asking Questions
When you’ve been betrayed, the world tilts on its axis. Suddenly, the person you thought you knew feels like a stranger, and your mind is full of questions—hundreds of them—some you’re afraid to ask, and some you’re afraid not to.
This course is here to walk beside you through one of the hardest conversations of your life: talking with your partner about their betrayal. Together, we’ll figure out what questions will give you clarity without causing unnecessary pain, how to prepare yourself for the answers, and how to protect your heart in the process.
This course can be taken on its own, or paired with its companion course—Truth Talk: Giving Answers—for your partner.
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A Message from Tim Tedder
In this video, Tim Tedder prepares you for what’s ahead and offers encouragement for making intentional choices in uncovering the truth about your partner’s affair.
In this video, Tim Tedder prepares you for what’s ahead and offers encouragement for making intentional choices in uncovering the truth about your partner’s affair.
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An explanation of who will benefit from taking this course.
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eBook: Guide for Couples
This 6-page eBook (PDF) looks at the stages of affair recovery and relationship renewal. This course fits in the Clarity Stage.
This 6-page eBook (PDF) looks at the stages of affair recovery and relationship renewal. This course fits in the Clarity Stage.
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A list of five things you’re encouraged to do now, at the start of the process.
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Established Expecations
How will you respond to dishonesty in the Truth Talk? What will you do if your partner answers with lies or half-truths?
How will you respond to dishonesty in the Truth Talk? What will you do if your partner answers with lies or half-truths?
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Does knowing the whole truth help or hinder your healing?
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Guide: Truth Talk Prep
Guidelines to use in preparing for and conducting a Truth Talk with your partner.
Guidelines to use in preparing for and conducting a Truth Talk with your partner.
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Evidence of Honesty
What should you look for as indications that your partner is being truthful in the answers they give?
What should you look for as indications that your partner is being truthful in the answers they give?
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Tim, Sharon, and Jennifer discuss a person’s memories about their affair.
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Consider how to handle questions when there has been more than one affair.
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If you are in counseling...
Considerations for integrating this course with your counseling experience.
Considerations for integrating this course with your counseling experience.
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Before proceding, make sure certain prerequisits are in place.
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If Your Partner Isn't Cooperating
What should you do if your partner isn’t willing to actively participate in a Truth Talk?
What should you do if your partner isn’t willing to actively participate in a Truth Talk?
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Guide: Your Truth Talk Outline
A complete guide to follow for each step of the Truth Talk encounter.
A complete guide to follow for each step of the Truth Talk encounter.
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Tim’s encouragement for your part in the Truth Talk conversation.
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Your Response to Their Answers
Consider how you will respond to your partner’s answers, based on various possible outcomes.
Consider how you will respond to your partner’s answers, based on various possible outcomes.
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What’s your level of confidence in the truthfulness of your partner’s responses?
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What To Do with New Questions
How should you handle questions that come up after you’ve had a Truth Talk?
How should you handle questions that come up after you’ve had a Truth Talk?
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Tim and Sharon talk about ongoing questions about a partner’s affair.
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How to plan for better outcomes in future conversations about the affair.
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If you are in counseling...
Considerations for integrating this course with your counseling experience.
Considerations for integrating this course with your counseling experience.
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Flip Journaling
Suggestions for an alternative approach to journaling that can help regulate obsessive thinking.
Suggestions for an alternative approach to journaling that can help regulate obsessive thinking.
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Exercise: Your Next Steps
An exercise to encourage a recognition of your progress, and a consideration of what your next steps will be.
An exercise to encourage a recognition of your progress, and a consideration of what your next steps will be.
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THE TRUTH MATTERS
For many couples, the truth about an affair can feel more like an explosion than a step toward healing.
You can’t control the whole process, but your part matters deeply. In this course, you’ll learn how to prepare for honest, courageous conversations—ones that can open the door to healing for you and your relationship, no matter what path you ultimately choose.
