During May and the beginning of June 2025, I conducted an online survey for people who met these two criteria:

They had experienced an affair in their relationship at least two years ago.
They had received help from a counselor or coach to help them in their affair recovery.

The following summaries reflect answers from the 50 responses I received.

The results are shown in image format, which may be difficult to read on a phone with a vertical display. Flip your phone to horizontal mode or view on a larger device.
—Tim Tedder

Pie chart showing responses to a survey question about affair experiences. The chart has three segments: blue representing 'I had an affair,' which is 24%; red for 'My partner had an affair,' which is 76%; and yellow for 'We both had an affair,' not shown in the chart but listed in the legend.

Pie chart showing responses to the question, "How long ago was the last affair exposed?" with 50 responses. The chart indicates 60% of respondents believe it was over 5 years ago, 38% say 1-2 years ago, a small section for 2-5 years ago, and a tiny slice for less than a year ago.

Pie chart illustrating survey responses to the question: 'Which best describes your situation?' with 50 responses. The chart shows 54% indicated 'This was the only known affair in our relationship,' represented in blue, and 46% indicated 'There were previous affairs (by either partner) in our relationship,' represented in red.

Pie chart showing responses to a survey question about how long people waited before starting counseling or coaching after an affair was exposed. The chart indicates 40% responded immediately within a month, 40% waited 1-6 months, 10% waited 6-12 months, and 10% waited over a year.

Pie chart showing responses to the question: 'How long did you continue meeting with a counselor or coach (even if you switched to someone else)?' The chart segments are color-coded: less than 1 month (blue), 2-6 months (red), 6-12 months (orange), 1-2 years (green), over 2 years (purple). Most responses are in the 6-12 months and over 2 years categories.

Pie chart showing 26% of respondents work with a counselor or coach, while 74% do not, with question text at the top asking, 'Do you still work with a counselor or coach, even if only occasionally?'

Bar graph showing responses to the question, 'How would you rate the effectiveness of your counseling or coaching experience?' with 50 total responses. The graph indicates 1 response (2%) rated 0, 7 responses (14%) rated 1, 12 responses (24%) rated 2, 13 responses (26%) rated 3, and 17 responses (34%) rated 4.

Pie chart showing survey responses to recommending counseling or coaching for infidelity. The chart indicates 86% answered 'Yes', 2% 'No', and 12% 'I'm not sure.'

Pie chart showing responses to a recovery progress survey with three segments: 40% wearing blue for doing better than expected, 18% in red for doing worse, and 42% in orange for doing about as well as expected.

Pie chart showing responses to a question about recovery expectations, with options 'Yes' in blue, 'No, they were too optimistic' in red, and 'No, they were too pessimistic' in yellow; 62% answered yes, 36% said they were too optimistic, and a small percentage said they were too pessimistic.

Pie chart showing survey responses about recovery from an affair. Blue represents feeling worse now, red no change, orange slightly better, green much better, purple fully recovered.

Pie chart titled 'Are you still in the same relationship?' with three segments: blue representing 72% for 'Yes, we are still living together,' orange representing 20% for 'No, that relationship ended,' and red representing 8% for 'Yes, but we are separated.'

AH Survey Results