6 Affair Motives

Why do people cheat?

Infidelity occurs for different reasons. An affair is not a “one-size-fits-all” choice. So, how can we better understand what happened?

There are no excuses.
But there are reasons.


Not all affairs start for the same reason. Discover the motives that drive infidelity and how each shapes the road to healing.

Why do people have affairs? In this episode of The Recovery Room, Tim Tedder explores six common motives behind infidelity—the Alarm, Exit, Quest, Revenge, Impulse, and Habit affairs. Drawing on illustrations and real-life examples, Tim explains how each motive takes shape, how it can change over time, and why understanding the “why” matters for healing.

You’ll also learn what each motive reveals about the work that needs to be done for recovery and how to protect your relationship from future harm. Whether you’re the betrayed or the unfaithful partner, this conversation offers clarity, direction, and hope.

Episode Notes

  • 00:00 Introduction

  • 02:30 Alarm Affair

  • 04:25 Exit Affair

  • 06:00 Quest Affair

  • 08:00 Revenge Affair

  • 09:15 Impulse Affair

  • 10:30 Habit Affair

  • 11:55 Questions to Ask Yourself

Links & Extras

  • Sign up for our Weekly Newsletter for encouragement and information about recommendations and new resources for affair healing, relationship growth, and personal change.

  • Need personal help? Schedule a Session with one of our coaches.

Next
Next

SongTalk: Haunting of My Heart