Review: Loveable
Reviewed by Tim Tedder
Summary
Listed Description: Dr. Flanagan reveals the core insight gleaned from his years of clinical work - you are here for a reason, yet you cannot truly awaken to it until you have first embraced your truest, worthiest self and then allow yourself to be truly embraced by others. Weaving heartwarming storytelling, gentle insights, and the wisdom of Dr. Flanagan's Christian tradition - including his belief that we are all "the living, breathing bearers of the eternal, transcendent, and limitless love that spun the planets and hung the stars" - this book invites you to remember the name you were given before all other names: loveable.
Review
This book has been around for a number of years and was once discussed in a Recovery Room podcast episode, but I’m bringing it up again in case you’ve missed it. It is one of those books that I recommend to clients, who then return with comments like, “I’ve told my friends they should read this book.”
Who should read this book? Anyone who struggles with their sense of worthiness, or any parent who wants to do a good job of instilling a healthy sense of self-worth in their children.
Grab a highlighter. You’ll need it.
Quotes
“Even if we lived a fairy-tale life—and some of us do—we are never completely spared from the effects of shame because, somewhere along the way, someone whose opinion mattered to us failed to reflect the worthiness within us.”
“I’ve watched it happen over and over again, as well-intentioned people unwittingly push the responsibility for healing the wounds of their hearts onto the people they love. We expect others to rescue us from our shame. We demand others fix our feelings of unworthiness.”
“The worldview in which I was raised had taught me that human beings are all basically bad to the bone and sinful to the center. Thus, I assumed my job as a therapist was to help people get to the ugliness at the bottom of themselves, so they could figure out what to do with it. But every time—every time—as we dug through the ugliness, we found beauty at the bottom instead.”
“Perhaps the most painful part is allowing the people we love to keep their hurtful opinions about us. If we don’t, we will remain fused to them by our desire to convince them of our goodness. We have to accept there are people who don’t think much of us, who dislike us, who see us in ways we are not. And we have to let them be wrong about us.”
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