Review: The Let Them Theory
Reviewd by Jennifer Gingras
Summary
The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins introduces a powerful mindset shift: stop trying to control others and focus on what you can control—your own reactions and choices. This approach reduces stress, fosters healthier relationships, and empowers you to reclaim your peace of mind.
Review
Overall, I would give this book 4 out of 5 stars. Robbins offers really good advice and practical applications for stepping back from trying to control others. I appreciate how she uses real-life examples from her own story to illustrate her points. Most people in many different kinds of relationships will be able to take something useful from this book.
However, Robbins researched and consulted with professionals, but this book is not rooted in trauma-informed care. I can see where the Let Them Theory misused could cause more harm, and it also does not address deep wounds from significant trauma. Secondly, some sections sound like the Americanized message: “If you just work harder, you can achieve all your dreams.” While achieving goals does require hard work, Robbins fails to mention that we all do not start with the same opportunities or experiences in life. I would have appreciated it if she had mentioned that others of different races, genders, socioeconomic statuses, etc, will struggle in ways that others do not.
Quotes
“The problem with waiting is no one is coming. The only permission you need is your own.”
“You are never stuck. That’s a lie you tell yourself. You can leave a job, a relationship, a living situation, a date, an interview, or a conversation any time you want to.”
“Acceptance of another person, as they are, is the foundation of a healthy and loving relationship. When someone feels that you accept them as they are, they feel safe with you.”
“Never feel bad about asking for what you deserve. Never hint about something as important as a commitment. Being able to have honest conversations is the foundation of a loving and healthy relationship.”
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