From Tim: Here’s what one betrayed wife wrote in response to her husband’s back-and-forth behavior and explanations about his affair. My advice in situations like these is to follow the guidelines in the article: Dealing with an Uncertain or Uncooperative Partner. Don’t get sucked into arguing about their justifications for choosing an affair; they’ll keep coming up with new ones.

Lately, things have been rough. Sadly, my husband doesn't realize everything he is losing.

I finally dared to tell him I was truly done. He broke so many promises, not just to me but to his kids. He lied and continues to lie. Since he travels for work, I asked him to please let me know when he plans on being home so I can leave and he can spend time with the kids.

He was apologetic and told me he didn’t want to lose me or the kids, but that he was so confused. I asked him to be 100% honest—Why do you always go back to her? His answer: Because you keep making me angry!

Really?! So, if we decided to stay together, but in the future I make you angry, would you find someone new? I can’t accept that!

I feel like he complains about me poking him with a toothpick while he continuously stabs me with a kitchen knife.

Now he’s trying to manipulate me, as if I was the one who wronged him. I have been ignoring his messages, and he is upset because he is claiming I am pretending he doesn't exist. Are you kidding me?! Why do they not understand? Can he even think, for one second, how unimportant and invisible he makes me feel whenever he is with her?

I told him to take care of himself because if he wanted to be involved with his kids and be a better father, he needed to figure out who he was.

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Toothpick vs Knife

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