Download: Identifying Your Steps to Infidelity

An Exercise for Involved Partners created by Tim Tedder

The choice of infidelity is often boiled down to a single choice: Why did you do that?! And “that” is usually the final choice you made in the affair, whether that was becoming emotionally attached, having personal exchanges, showing physical affection, declaring love, or becoming sexually involved.

But your final choice was likely preceded by many other compromising steps.

Part of your affair recovery involves gaining clear insight into the series of compromising decisions that ultimately led to the most damaging choices. Starting from where you ended up (the final damaging choice you made), try to trace backwards and identify the series of adjustments you had to make to get there.

Your responses not only provide a more accurate account of what you need to take responsibility for, but they also provide a more complete perspective of the changes you need to make in order to heal, change, and rebuild trust.