Sexual Pleasure
Listener caution: This episode includes frank discussion about sex and sexual pleasure.
Why Sex May Not Feel Good
During my decades of counseling, I encountered many obstacles to pleasurable sex. Some were common to both men and women: shame, physical challenges, unrealistic expectations. Others showed up differently for each.
One struggle I heard almost exclusively from women was never (or rarely) experiencing an orgasm. The reasons varied: a history of shame surrounding sexuality or their bodies, past abuse or sexual trauma, little attention ever given to what actually brings them arousal, or an involuntary tightening of the vagina that made penetration painful or impossible.
The good news: every one of these issues can be addressed, clearing the way to discover that sex can be genuinely pleasurable. This episode begins that exploration.
Episode Notes
For many couples, especially those recovering from infidelity, sex carries an impossible weight. The betrayed partner may feel pressure to perform, to compete, to prove something. The involved partner may be desperate to demonstrate change. And underneath it all, many people have never learned what genuinely brings them pleasure in the first place.
In this second episode of our series on sexuality, intimacy coach Linda Landon offers a different path. Rather than chasing better technique or bigger outcomes, Linda's approach begins with each person coming home to their own body—learning to be present, to feel, and to receive—before reaching toward their partner. From that grounded place, she says, real intimacy becomes possible, and pleasure follows as an outcome rather than a goal.
Linda speaks from lived experience. Despite being deeply embodied and sensual from childhood, she spent decades with a block that kept full sexual pleasure out of reach. At 50, during menopause, she began a journey of self-exploration that transformed her life and eventually reshaped her work as a couples coach.
In this conversation, we explore:
Why so many people (Linda estimates 80–85% of the women she works with) reach adulthood without knowing what brings them real sexual pleasure
How early shame messages shape a lifetime of disconnection from our own bodies
The problem with "male-centric" sexual timing and the pressure created by media expectations
Why performative sex (sex as proving, pleasing, or achieving) leaves both partners disconnected
How taking climax and penetration "off the table" can open the door to deeper intimacy
Resistance as a doorway: why hitting a wall in this work is inevitable, and even welcome
What this means for couples rebuilding sexual connection after betrayal, and why healing intimacy is not about better performance
A guided practice for you to try right now
LINKS and EXTRAS
Linda Landon’s website: igniteyourjoy.us — Download a free sample of Pleasure Past Fifty on the home page (with an option to receive the full book free).
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Linda Landon
Linda Landon, PCC, is a life and intimacy coach who helps individuals and couples 50+ reignite pleasure, deepen intimacy, and embrace sexual vitality. A vibrant seventy-year-old who healed herself from burnout and sexual disconnection, she brings compassion and lived experience to her work. Linda created the Ignite Method (a three-pillar approach combining Human Design, Sensing Sexuality, and Tools for Liberation) and is certified as an ICF Professional Coach, Deep Coaching Practitioner, Orgasmic Meditation Coach, and Human Design Practitioner. Her most recent book is Pleasure Past Fifty: Rekindle Your Sexual Intimacy with the Ignite Method and Human Design, available at igniteyourjoy.us.
