Married to a Narcissist
Is your betrayer a narcissist?
When a spouse has been blindsided by betrayal, they often go looking for an explanation that can make sense of their partner’s choices. By the time they reach me, many have already settled on a few possible diagnoses—ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, or Narcissism usually top the list.
The truth is, you may see hints of those patterns show up, but most partners don’t meet the full criteria for an actual clinical diagnosis. In this episode, my guest helps us explore narcissism as a spectrum, giving us a clearer way to gauge how much it might be influencing someone’s behavior, even in the messy territory of infidelity.
Tim Tedder welcomes coach and author Annette Chesney to talk about one of the most confusing and painful dynamics people face in marriage: loving someone who may be on the narcissistic spectrum. Annette walks us through her four-category Narcissistic Relationship Spectrum, a practical way to identify the differences between normal human imperfection, fear-driven reactivity, calculated manipulation, and the dangerous end of narcissistic behavior. She explains why many partners spend years feeling blamed, confused, and spiritually guilted into staying quiet, and how narcissists often exploit grace, forgiveness, and faith-based values to avoid accountability.
Together, Tim and Annette explore why narcissists rarely change, how they can fool counselors, how narcissism shows up in infidelity, and why partners often blame themselves long after the relationship has eroded their confidence. Annette also shares pieces of her own story.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it me?” or felt like you can’t trust your own perceptions, this conversation may be the clarity you’ve been needing.
LINKS and EXTRAS
Free Narcissistic Relationship Spectrum: https://annettechesney.com/spectrum
Annette Chesney Website: https://annettechesney.com
Contact Annette: annette@annettechesney.com
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Annette Chesney
Annette Chesney is a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Specialist and founder of CinderElla No More Academy and the CinderElla Success Stories coaching groups. A speaker, trainer, and leadership mentor, Annette brings a foundation in Christian-based emotional healing and leadership development to women, and occasionally men, navigating life after narcissistic abuse.
She guides survivors in deep heart work and renewing the mind, dismantling internalized lies that keep them stuck, and rebuilding God-given strength and authority. Annette helps them turn pain into resilience, clarity, and renewed purpose.
Her message isn’t just about surviving - it’s about becoming stronger, wiser, and better than before, not despite what you walked through, but because of it.
