Affair healing Blog
A couple came into my office wanting help to work through an argument they were unable to resolve. They were frustrated and disappointed in each other. I spent 50 minutes helping them consider the issue from their partner's point of view and to gain insight into why they each reacted so defensively.
This message was recently posted in our Community forum: I'm six months from D-day. I have noticed a few changes in my husband and I'm wondering if it is too early to let my guard down or if this is natural in healing. For instance, I don't access his email nearly as often. The same goes for his phone. Sometimes I forget to check to make sure he is where he says he is using the Find Friends app. Am I being foolish in not being more vigilant, or is this simply progress? The couple had come to counseling together but tucked themselves into opposite corners of the couch as they unfolded their story. She'd been caught in a 9-month affair and now they sat here wondering about the future of their marriage. She said the affair was technically over and he said he was willing to work toward recovery, but neither of them knew how to fix the mess that had been made of their relationship.
I asked them a question. "If counseling accomplishes what you want, what will be the outcome?" I simply want them to tell me more about their goals and expectations. It feels like you've been cut down, but maybe you've been cut back. That might be a good thing.
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AuthorUnless otherwise noted, articles are written by Tim Tedder, a licensed counselor and creator of this site and its resources. Topics
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