Affair healing Blog
Sara turned to look at Dave sitting at the other end of the couch in my office. With a mix of hope and caution she said, "I'm willing to work through this and fix our marriage. Are you?"
Dave was slow to respond. Since his affair had been discovered two weeks ago, he had been swinging between the choice to recommit to his marriage, or leave it for good. His indecision left Sara confused, uncertain about her own choices. She wanted him to make a declaration, one way or another, so she could decide what her next steps would be.
As long as Dave continued to vacillate, and as long as Sara waited on his choice before making her own, their relationship remained in limbo. Neither spouse was able to see a clear path forward.
Although the betrayed spouse also must decide whether or not to stay in their marriage, this article will focus on the decision (or indecision) of the unfaithful spouse. By reading the decision meter, each spouse can determine the steps that will guide them away from relationship limbo.
The following comment was posted in our Community Forum:
"...I know I was never going to be the person that convinced him to come back to our marriage. He has to make that choice on his own. But is physical separation with practically no communication really better? Am I just questioning this because I know he could choose to leave for good and I just can't let go completely? I don't even know what we should talk about that wouldn't defeat the purpose of the separation in the first place. But I also don't want to discourage communication that should be happening. I'm just not feeling confident about what is and isn't the right communication for this situation..."