If you found out your spouse was cheating on you, you will experience anger. Initially, some of this anger will be directed at your spouse. Don't hesitate to express it. You may not have much control over your initial reactions, but eventually you can be more thoughtful in the way you express your outrage. Be honest. Be firm. But try to stay away from abusive words or actions since these will continue to destroy your relationship.

As much as you may feel your spouse deserves the full and continual outpouring of your rage, believe me when I tell you that it would damage both of you. Find a good friend that will let you vent. Look for ways to physically let out your aggression without hurting others. Find a trusted counselor who can help you learn who to healthy expression to the anger.

Use anger as an indicator of deeper emotions: fear, inhibition, shame, or hurt. You'll be able to process your anger in a more productive way if you can identify and talk about those things that are really driving your anger. For more information on how to do this, see the article Look Beneath Your Anger.